


Cleopatra

by littlemisstpk



Series: Rhythm on the Court [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Boys In Love, Career Ending Injuries, F/M, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Pining, Post-Canon, Reconciliation, Songfic, Time Skips, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 15:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15609189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisstpk/pseuds/littlemisstpk
Summary: When Hinata confesses his feelings for Kageyama at their high school graduation, Kageyama is unable to process his feelings, leaving a devastated Hinata behind.It would take him years to process that event, but Kageyama would understand the devastation it left in himself as well.





	Cleopatra

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a rewrite of another fic that I wrote very early on in figuring out how to break my crippling writer's block. However, I found upon reading the old version that my style had evolved quickly enough that I was no longer satisfied with how everything fit together. I'm leaving the old version up, as it really is a moment in time, and a marker for my evolution as a writer.
> 
> So here is the improved version of Cleopatra.
> 
> As with every fic in this series, it's best if you listen to the song I name each section off of. This one is taken from Cleopatra by the Lumineers. [Take a listen!](https://youtu.be/aN5s9N_pTUs)
> 
> Also, I have a [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/littlemisstpk) where I post my comments about the manga I'm reading, as well as some writing thoughts. I'm always up for talking!

The first time that Kageyama Tobio could call himself truly happy was his first year of high school. It was true that volleyball had always given him an exhilarating rush of adrenaline that very few other things provided, but the earliest experiences with the sport often made him feel like an outsider, leaving him alone with no one to spike his set. It was a whirlwind personality by the name of Hinata who made the most change in Tobio’s feeling welcome on a team.

Tobio would later be able to put into words that often positive change would come in fits and spurts, becoming a thoroughly uncomfortable process. As an emotional constipated teenager, he could only recognize Hinata as an annoying imp whose shrill voice demanded constant tosses while simultaneously coming up with the stupidest ideas ever. Still, Hinata’s enthusiasm for the sport was infectious, as it brought Tobio to want to do so much better even during those times whenever they did not talk to each other out of spite, and brought them to nationals every year of high school.

Tobio first ran away from happiness after his high school graduation. It was the culmination of his storied high school career, and he couldn't help but feel proud at the attention that Hinata and him received at the ceremony, the smaller boy the Robin to his Batman. Things changed quickly; Tobio could only later recall looking down at a mop of red hair, bright eyes looking into his own and a dim awareness of the button in Hinata’s outstretched hands, a declaration of love from the ace to his setter, vice captain to captain. Without a word, Tobio turned on his heel and walked away, and he didn’t need to look behind him to see rivers of tears on Hinata’s shell-shocked face; he could feel the streams running down his own face in his overwhelming, conflicted emotions.

He exchanged his train ticket that took him to his new dorm in Tokyo for the earliest train in the morning, opting not to go to Yamaguchi’s end of high school party.

~~~~~

It was a given that Tobio would try out for the university volleyball team. It was also as given that he would be a part of the starting lineup. It was moderately surprising that Tsukishima also made it into a similar position, considering his former apathy to club activities. However, Tobio had noticed a change in the taller man in the Spring Tournament from their first year, and now recognized a familiar level of volleyball mania hidden behind a sneer.

Tsukishima and Tobio ended up bonding over heartache and disappointment, with Hinata and Yamaguchi being unspoken taboo topics. In the extra practice time that Tobio had historically reserved for Hinata, he ended up creating a novel spiker and setter relationship with Tsukishima that was talked about at every practice match they played. It was not quite the magical bond he had shared with Hinata in high school, which Tobio was the first to realize was once in a lifetime, but the other schools started to learn that if Tsukishima and Tobio were grinning, something amazing was going to happen. The reminder of the force of nature that was his former best friend left a new gouge in his heart, and so Tobio furiously rubbed his chest to try and make the pain dissipate. As hard as he tried, he could not make it go away, and it was usually a glare from Tsukishima or  solid thwap on his back followed by a nasally “Tobio-chan” from Oikawa that would snap him out of his reverie.

~~~~~

Tobio felt uneasy with the news of playing a few practice matches outside of the prefecture. He recognized the name of one of their opponent schools from one of his more playful arguments with Hinata; in truth, Tobio couldn't fault his former friend for wanting to be a part of his sister's life, where he himself was an only child. As the mountains in the shinkansen window sped by, the dull ache that volleyball only occasionally soothed began to settle in his stomach, it became clear that Tobio had only run away from his problems. As he looked toward Tsukishima, Tobio realized that he was not the only one running away from ghosts in Miyagi.

As the game started, the coach quickly learned to put Oikawa on as starting setter when they played against Hinata’s school. In Tobio’s first serve rotation in their first game with Hinata was on the opposite side of the net, Tobio hit Tsukishima’s hands that were positioned to protect his head and neck from errant serves. While Tobio was faintly aware of the death glare coming from the blond man, he was more focused on his former teammate, who had turned as white as a sheet.

Tobio was not surprised when he heard a whistle and saw a paddle with his number on it. He took it in hand, catching Oikawa’s pitying look as he made his way to the bench, where the coaches and manager sat. Taking a place beside Yachi, who got on as manager at his university, he faintly felt slender arms around him, wordlessly giving Tobio the comfort that he needed to get through the match.

By the end of the longer-than-normal game, Tobio was only faintly aware of Tsukishima inviting him to hang out with the old Karasuno crowd. He felt a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, as Yachi smiled at him. Tobio got a quick flashback to three years previous, when Yachi was the only person who would spend any appreciable amount with him, and declined the invitation out. He had different plans.

Tobio found himself leading Yachi to a nearby arcade, where that dull ache in his chest left as the tiny woman unleashed her competitive side. He was able to laugh when she was finally able to win against him, and continued to laugh at her wide eyed expression at his outburst of joy. When Tobio leaned forward to capture Yachi in a good night kiss, he couldn't help but imagine a mess of orange hair in front of him.

~~~~~

It was as Tobio and Hitoka had finished their degrees that he summoned the courage to propose to her, the expected next step in their relationship. A year and lots of planning later, they married during one of the summer festivals in Miyagi. Tsukishima ended up being Tobio's best man, and Kiyoko was Hitoka’s maid of honour. It was a small wedding, and the guest list ended up being immediate family and Tobio's volleyball friends, which were all mutual friends through Hitoka's role as manager in all his higher education. He couldn't help but be reminded of Hinata, as the reception ended up being a Karasuno reunion. Tobio couldn't help but imagine that Hinata would rile up Noya and Tanaka to new heights, bringing smiles to people’s faces, if not temporary deafness.

Ignoring the ache in his heart that he had learned to associate with missed opportunity, Tobio smiled at Tsukishima, who was protective of his girlfriend and his unborn child as they cuddled in the corner. Instead, he leaned down and kissed the newly christened Kageyama Hitoka.

~~~~~

As many years as went by, Tobio could not help but periodically take out the well-worn team picture from his last Spring Tournament on the Orange Court. He himself looked relatively stiff in the photo, generally uncomfortable with the whole ordeal, but the true focus was Hinata to his left, exuberant and full of life as always. Every time he took out the photo, Tobio could only imagine how Hinata would fit into his life as it currently stood, whether the redheaded whirlwind would be as excited about him being on a professional volleyball team in Tokyo, or being excited about Tobio's newborn daughter, Saeko, as the new father himself, or even join him in laughing at Tsukishima navigate single fatherhood while trying to raise the most terrifyingly loud toddlers Tobio had ever known. He could practically hear the loud voice exclaim, “Bakageyama! Babies are not volleyballs! You can’t toss them around like that!”

The more that Hitoka seemed to withdraw into herself, the more that Tobio would stare at the old picture for hours at a time. He knew that it was unhealthy, and he didn't know where to even start looking up Hinata’s whereabouts even if he was inclined to find his old friend, but it gave Tobio a few moments of comfort, the memories that he shared with Hinata leaving warmth that only his daughter left now. Hitoka was less fond of his nostalgia, leaving Tobio an ultimatum between the picture and his family; he ended up finding a smaller place for himself later that month.

His saving grace was his daughter. She had the optimism of her mother, the calmness of her father, and a combination of features that made her look unique and undeniably her parents’ child all at the same time. When the divorce went through, Tobio fought his hardest to make sure that he could see her whenever he was in town. He was not going to let another important person down that deserved his love.

~~~~~

It was after one of his games that Tobio's new normal routine had shifted into something altogether uncomfortable. It was normal for him to be interviewed after a game about this thoughts on how plays went about, and not only was Tobio getting used to talking about volleyball using terms that most people could understand, but he was befriending some of the regular sports reporters to some degree.

He saw a familiar head of hair approaching where he was towelling off near the bench. Tobio noted that the hair was shorter on the sides, and the top was actually tamed in a controlled chaos kind of way. He had to admit, Hinata looked  _ good _ , wearing a well-coordinated vest and trousers, and a familiar smile. Behind Hinata trailed a camera man and a boom mic operator, Tobio breathed deeply in preparation for the situation at hand. He slipped on the mask that was inspired by Ushijima and thoroughly tested by Oikawa, the one that he knew was unbreakable.

What Tobio did not realize is that everything can break, and not even Oikawa can slip through every defence.

After the first fluff question that Hinata asked Tobio (“What did you find the most difficult part of penetrating their defence?”), Tobio watched as Hinata’s body looked relaxed to a casual observer, but even through nearly ten years absence, he recognized the nervous tension that was akin to a cornered animal. This familiar sight he had seen before many a volleyball game at school, which was usually accompanied by vomit to alleviate the nerves. Tobio subconsciously took a step backwards. (“Their blockers were effective, so it was difficult to see who would be the most effective to get past their wall.”)

After a couple more inane questions, Tobio heard a familiar tiny voice quickly become louder. As he looked away from Hinata and his crew, he saw Saeko running full tilt towards her father, who did not hesitate to pick her up and toss her around like a volleyball for a bit. He looked in the direction that his child had run from, and seeing Tsukishima with his minions, Tobio heard his friend call out, “Lame!” with sneer on his face.

Tobio simply called back, “So’s your face!”

Looking at the perplexed look on Hinata’s face, Tobio explained to the camera, “He’s one of my few friends from the miraculous Karasuno days with whom I still keep in touch. We weren’t especially close in high school, but we became great friends in university, and we even became Tokyo's Wonder Duo. He was the best man at my wedding too. He understands that volleyball is easy, it’s life that’s hard.”

Tobio had gotten good at press smiles, but as he did his best not to look at Hinata, he found himself reverting back to his old high school habits, where his forced smiles were closer to painful grimaces, much to the amusement of the younger version of the man in front of him, both past and present. It was then that Tobio heard the most enchanting music he had not heard since high school: Hinata’s laugh. Tobio quickly remembered the old routine, and pouted at Hinata’s laugh. He really didn’t mind, as the only openly happy sounds he heard lately were from Saeko on the odd occasion he could get her from Hitoka, but he kept up the act for the amusement of others.

As fun as remembering high school was, Tobio reminded himself that he couldn’t give Hinata what he wanted then, and he had no idea of what he wanted now, so there was no use in trying to figure it out if neither solution would make it better.

~~~~~

It became more comfortable as Hinata began to regularly cover his games. As the season wore on, Tobio was glad to find out that he could still rile up Hinata with only a few words, including his favorite, “boke”. As enjoyable as these moments were, Tobio was left with a bitter taste in his mouth after every interview. Still, having had the experience of not having the shorter man in his life at all, Tobio decided he would take a fist full of bitter pills if it meant that Hinata would stay in his life.

On one of the rare span of several days where Tobio did not have games scheduled during the season, Hitoka dropped Saeko off to his apartment. She seemed glad at the half-happiness that he was experiencing with Hinata in his life, and despite the lingering negativity that comes with issuing an ultimatum of that gravity, she smiled fondly at the loud peals of laughter as he lifted his daughter with one arm as if she were luggage. Tobio could only feel grateful to his ex-wife at being more perceptive with his feelings than he was ever going to admit, and not holding his stupidity against him.

It was during a routine play during the playoffs that Tobio’s world shifted upside down. As he set his feet down on the ground after dumping the ball, he immediately knew that something was wrong. He heard the crunch more than felt it, and when he was brave enough to look down before the nerves finally figured out what was going on, Tobio saw his right leg splayed out at an odd angle. As his back made full contact with the hardwood court beneath him, the pain kicked in, and he let out a blood curdling yell. He infused into the yell the instant realization that his professional volleyball career was over, and he barely noticed the looks of horror on people’s faces as he was carried off the court on a stretcher. As Tobio hyperventilated in an attempt at natural pain control, he caught the wet look of unshed tears in Hinata’s eyes. Tobio couldn't tell whether or not it was the eye contact or his natural endorphins taking over, but the deep amber pools that had seen heartache and hinted at wisdom gained from all those years away kept him grounded until he was taken out of sight.

In the hospital, after the doctors realigned his leg (a process which he could not remember thanks to good drugs that Tsukishima tried to explain to him but settled for saying “the good stuff”) and declared ACL to be completely torn among other things he'd have Tsukishima translate into terms he could understand later, he found himself bored in the hospital. Hitoka brought Saeko to visit every day, and Tsukishima often brought Takeshi and Takenori, who he was training to be just as much of little shitheads as their father, and it made the painful days of rehab worth it.

What Tobio was not expecting was for Hinata to appear at the doorway to his room.

He felt his heart clench as Hinata wordlessly sat in the chair by his bed. Tobio had gotten used to the emotional buffer of Hinata’s entourage. Here he was, alone, and unable to walk away if the conversation went south. As they looked into each other’s eyes, Tobio realized that as much as they could joke about being old high school friends on camera, and reference the miraculous duo, they could not regain that level of wordless communication that easily.

Finally, a single word left Hinata’s lips.

“Why?”

Of course Hinata had to ask the one question that Tobio was unwilling to answer, so he played dumb. “Why what?”

Hinata breathed forcefully out of his nose, and Tobio briefly got the image of a bull about to charge a matador.

“Why did you run after graduation?”

Now, Tobio could not play dumb anymore. He also couldn't look his friend in the eye as he answered, “I didn't know what I wanted. I was young and scared.” He turned and looked directly into Hinata’s eyes. “By the time I knew what I wanted, it felt like it was too late, so I settled.” Tobio gave a self deprecating snort, and turned away towards the window.

He felt his hand become enclosed by both of Hinata’s, and faintly felt tears rolling down his forearm as Hinata’s body shook as sobs coursed through his entirety. Tobio might have trouble understanding emotions sometimes, but even he could tell that this was ten years in the making.

Using his free hand to tenderly stroke Hinata’s chin, Tobio used the moment of capturing the others’ attention to pat the opposite side of the hospital bed, inviting Hinata in to cuddle in a way that would not aggravate his leg. The smaller man took up the invitation, slotting himself so that his head rested on Tobio’s shoulder and limbs draped over his torso. As Hinata’s breathing evened out, Tobio couldn't tell whether he would get what he wanted now, but he at least knew he had his friend and his chance at happiness back.


End file.
